Monday, April 26, 2010

Tomorrow is her birthday...

I've been feeling a little anxious the past week or so. Tomorrow is Faith's birthday. She would have been four! I find myself thinking about her a lot lately. What would she look like? Would she be more like me or more like Brett? I wish she could be here to meet her brothers. I miss her everyday. I find myself looking at her pictures a lot more. I'm so glad we had the opportunity to take those pictures. I know at the time, some people disagreed with our decision to take pictures with her. Looking back now, I wouldn't have changed anything. I needed those pictures. At the time I didn't realize how important they would be. Now, I know that I can show Jakob and Brody her pictures and they will know that they have a big sister watching over them at all times. I wonder if she's with my mom and dad. Are they holding her and rocking her? I like to think that they are. I know my mom and dad are probably thrilled to have their grand daughter with them everyday. What kind of games does she like? What does her laugh sound like? What does her smile look like? I wish I could hear her laugh and see her smile. I wish she were here so I could teach her to ride a bike. Watch her dance recitals. Play dress up. All of the things that little girls love. I know tomorrow is going to be so hard. Knowing that she is with her grandma and grandpa makes me feel a little better. I know they are taking good care of her.
I love you Faith Ebita!


  1. You will be in my thoughts. *hugs*

  2. I'm an Aug 09 BBC Mama (dschurma) and just clicked through your signature and ended up here.

    This brought tears to my eyes. I can only imagine how hard it it to know that your baby is in heaven, rather than here with your family.

    I'm so glad you have these pictures, and find it hard to believe anyone would try to talk you out of that. So glad your boys can know about their big sister!

  3. Thanks so much for sharing something so close and personal.
    I think that it was a wonderful choice for you to take the pictures. She is your child and you love her. God bless you. I hope that you see her in your other children. As she is watching over you.